Holding Our Breath

Well my appointment today was good and not so good...some concerns are gone but now more took it's place. This Level 2 ultrasound was to check Baby B more in depth. He looks great though! It's still not 100% that he does not have Down Syndrome...he still could...but they think he doesn't. We won't know for sure until he is born. But they had lots of concerns now about Baby A. Poor sweet tiny baby boy. There is a 27% difference in size between the two babies now. I thought I wasn't going to have to worry about that since they each have their own placenta. No twin to twin transfusion. But the doctor says sometimes one placenta just doesn't do as good of a job as the other. He said if that is the case I will have to deliver early to keep Baby A healthy. I am 19week 3days. Baby A was measuring at 18weeks 4days and about 8oz. Baby B measured at 20weeks 1day and about 11oz. That was 1 concern they want to keep an eye on.

Then they said they saw something not quite right in his heart. They think he has Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). A hole between two of the chambers in the heart. It is the most common congenital (from birth) heart defect. They said it can still close before he is born, or it might not. So I will be having a Fetal Echo with a Pediatric Cardiologist soon. This hit my heart pretty heavy because I have watched my sister Joy suffer so much from her heart defect. So they will keep a close eye on that as well. 

Then third they said his renal pelvis {kidney} one is larger than the other. They don't know yet if it's reflux- meaning the urine is going back up, or if it's narrowing- meaning it's not draining. If it's reflux then they don't do anything about it and will usually outgrow it by the time he is 2 years old. If it's narrowing then he will need surgery to correct it. So they want to watch that closely. 

He said all 3 of these things could be related to a chromosome abnormality like Trisomy 18 or 21 like Down Syndrome. Or not. These are all subtle signs but there aren't any of the major red flag signs. And maybe his heart will grow completely closed before he's born and he has a relux kidney. No biggie. He would be just fine. Or not. So many fears and worries! The next 16 weeks cannot pass quickly enough!! Please boys just keep growing strong!

Last they said that my cervix is shorter than they would like it to be. Sherry was put on bedrest with her twins at 26 weeks because of her cervix shortening. So they want to keep a close eye on that as well. 

After all that information today I wasn't sure how I felt...just so worried for the babies I guess. I want so much just to get them here in my arms. It's crazy how much responsibility I feel in carrying and growing these sweet babies. We had a really fun 2 hour photo session with the babies though! I LOVE how much they have grown!! I can't wait to hold those sweet fingers & toes and kiss that adorable nose!

Absolutely perfect!!  

Tyler gave me a blessing a couple weeks ago. During the blessing Jarvis wouldn't sit with the other kids. He was right by my side and had one hand on my belly the whole time. He would stop and kiss them then rub my belly again. I am so grateful for Tyler and his priesthood. After the blessing the older kids asked why Jarvis didn't have to sit down. Jarvis said he wanted to help Daddy give the babies a blessing. Such a sweet brother. The kids are so excited for these babies to come and pray for them multiple times a day. I want so much for them to get here healthy just so the older kids don't have to feel that heartbreak again. We are so happy and I know that we are immensely blessed. I know it will all be ok. That doesn't mean it will be perfect, but it will be ok. I love and trust my Father in Heaven and in His divine plan for us.